fondofapples | Inbox -- Genessia

Regina Mills
~~Queen~~ ~~Mayor~~ Mother
Sorceress
Fond of Plants

"You've reached the inbox of Regina Mills. Leave a message. If it's urgent, it's probably too late."

(text, voice, video, action, ooc planning if necessary for Genessia only)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

hellorhighwater

Neil frowned at her, more petulant than actually annoyed, but gave up teasing with a sigh, kissing her fingers first, then her forehead in silent acquiescence.

"All right, lead the way, coach." he quipped, drawing back reluctantly and stepping back so he could toe off his sneakers. 'Well'--it felt like an oxymoron, a healthy soldier. He was sturdy by virtue of his power--acting as a vessel for dragon fire had its pros and cons, like cauterizing wounds that bled, and even burning most disease out of his bloodstream.

Save for the Fever, as the palace healers came to call it, when he couldn't hold the fire back any longer and delirium set in while his temperature spiked to combat the force in his veins that was consuming his own body heat. Or how the fire could influence his emotions in moments where control slipped, fueling rage and hate and lust--or even the aftermath of his own body burning to save his life, leaving him in agony for days as he reigned in the fire so it didn't burn him from the inside out.

...yeah, he was probably going to have to have a talk with Regina about some of that later if he didn't want to get yelled at again.

"So where's the spring?" he asked, tugging an elastic off his wrist to reach up and pull his hair back--then winced when his arm protested. Grimacing, he hesitated, then glanced at Regina and gestured vaguely with the elastic in silent request for a little help.

From:

fondofapples

Ignoring his pouting and petulance, Regina instead rewarded his asking for help with another almost sunny smile and the stroke of the back of her hand up his abdomen. Over the short time they'd spent together (more time than she'd had with Robin really), she'd discovered that certain touches had the power to either stop him in his tracks, or provoke those sweet, love-struck smiles that she adored, and intimate affection expressed as her hand low on his abdomen was one of her favorites.

"Come here and sit down," she said, retrieving the elastic from his fingers. He was too tall for her to effectively manage his hair if he was still standing and besides, she could give him a little more gentle attention this way. For as soon as he sat, she combed her fingers through his hair and bent over him to press a warm kiss to the side of his neck.

"I'm sorry about before," she murmured, not an apology she thought he needed so much as one she simply wanted to give. It felt oddly less traumatic to give it now when she knew the fight was over, and somehow more meaningful. "This, us, it felt threatened and I do bad things when I feel threatened."

From:

hellorhighwater

It wasn't something he would admit to readily, but that touch of her hand on his stomach--fingers brushing, knuckles rubbing, that gentle sweep of the back of her hand--had more power than she realized. It always came with a subtle frisson of fear up his spine, then a wonderful sort of stillness that followed as the fear slid right back down and out of him. It was a very specific exposure of a weak spot, not unlike a wolf exposing its belly, and that reminder of how close she was, how vulnerable he became when he was with her...

It was a reminder of the holes in his armor, and the way she filled them. Fear was reflex, but that stillness was choice, and every time she touched him that way he was reminded that there could be safety and even pleasure in trusting someone, in dahgo.

That touch achieved both: melted any hesitance he had in asking for help, and brought that broad, awestruck smile to his face before he did as he was told, moving to sit down so she could help him with his hair...which meant running her fingers through it and kissing his neck, both of which had him pleasantly cross-eyed for a moment.

Her admission was sobering, though, and made him feel bad about their fight--about lashing out the way he had. He'd do it again, in a heartbeat, simply to keep her safe from him...but he didn't have to like it.

"I do, too." he confessed. "And I'm sorry, too--I didn't want you to worry, and I know, I know you wanna help, but from where I sit I really am okay. But that's me, my own head--I get it. I just--I'm a fire mage, Regina. And I know you think highly of me, but in my world a simple elemental fire mage is the single most dangerous creature in all of existence. And I wield dragon fire. I get spooked, people do end up dead."

From:

fondofapples

Now, she knew, wasn't the time to tell him that she'd survived countless assassination attempts over the years, or that she'd caught an arrow fired at her with her bare hand. It was time to be still and quiet and accept that they could kill each other, but more importantly neither of them wanted to.

So she nodded and met his gaze in the mirror behind her dressing table while her hand smoothed over the shoulder of his healthy arm and down to seek his hand for a moment. "I know," she said soberly, not a hint of appeasement in her tone, just an acknowledgment. They'd done this once before, after all, with her fist around his heart.

She waited, holding his hand and his gaze for long enough that nothing she said could be understand as a challenge or an exception to that, released his hand, and then went back to his hair, this time separating it into three equal parts. And only after she'd begun plaiting it did she say, "There's a difference between functional and okay." And she honestly wasn't sure he should count as functional, considering how easily she could disable him. "Maybe your king accepted functional. I don't. You're more than a weapon to me, and I need you to be able to do more than slice through my enemies. I need you, and you're not yourself when you're in that kind of pain."

From:

hellorhighwater

For a long time, Neil didn't answer, just watched her in the mirror as she began to section off and braid his hair--nothing he'd ever tried, and something he'd have to see if she'd do more often because it felt fucking incredible. It sent glorious little ripples of sensation across his scalp and down the back of his neck...he could have easily shut his eyes and just lost himself in it, drifting with the gentle tug and caress of her fingers to keep him from floating away.

"My king executed men who could only be 'functional.'" he confessed quietly. "'Functional' didn't get a lotta boys through basic. And...seeing into shadows, using them to travel? It's only half of what the Night Dragon can do: he sees the hidden. Anything kept secret, he can learn. It's a form of blood magic, the only things you can hide are the things you don't. It's tricky shit, trying to learn how to speak so you can lie without lying, hide without covering something up. I've seen it kill at court."

He paused, half smiling at her in the mirror. "You've met me, put me in the wrong situation and I can't control half the shit that comes outta my mouth. I couldn't double talk my way out of a damn thing, so I...made it true. I changed my reality: pain became a norm, standing next to death became a blessing. I made myself capable of pushing through just about anything so I could be better than just 'functional,' even if I knew it would kill me. I...became Black Fire. It's--I just don't know how to turn that off, so...there will be other flare ups, my powers alone can make me sick, but if I say I'm okay then I'm not bullshitting you. It's literal: from where I sit, I really am okay. Okay can just...sometimes mean puking up blood or something. But if you don't get sick of my shit, I promise you: somewhere underneath all the crap I learned in my service...you'll find me, okay?"

From:

fondofapples

"I understand," she told him, and when she'd finished plaiting his hair and neatly tying off the end with a bit of silk cord she summoned, she leaned down to kiss to top of his head. "My mother...showing any kind of weakness was an invitation. I learned to put all of this--" She gestured between them and to her own face to encompass the emotions he'd seen in it today alone. "--away so far that it didn't exist. I was what my face showed."

She sighed, then, because there were things that she could accept and things she couldn't, and if she had to guess, the same would be true for him. "But I don't care that you're not bullshitting me. Not being able to sleep from pain and puking up blood, Neil--" The expression she showed him in the mirror was far from okay, tears in her eyes and brows lifted high and drawn together. "That's objectively Not Okay. Trust me to protect you. Let me decide what's okay."

From:

hellorhighwater

Neil wanted to look away when that look crossed her face--wanted to hide from what she asked of him because it was terrifying. He trusted her with his weak spots, trusted her to have his back, but she was asking him to let her take care of him again, in a much bigger way. To be his eyes, to stand between him and the rest of the world when that wasn't how it worked, that wasn't how he worked, that wasn't what he was for...

"Dahgo." he murmured as he watched her face in the mirror, his own pinched with conflict. It was less a declaration, more a reminder--love unchecked, love for the sake of love...the willing march into destruction for a chance to feel it.

"I told you it had a crappy ass English translation." he went on out loud, half thinking out loud. "Dahgo means 'removal of the heart.' To lose the heart is the ultimate vulnerability...and the man without a heart is the man that cannot die." He smiled a little, then reached around to find one of her hands, drawing it around his shoulders until he could press it against his chest and lean back against her just a little.

"And anyway, can't get it back if you don't give it up first, right?" He hesitated, sobering...then drew a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay. Okay, I'll trust you. Until I can see it...I'll let you be my eyes."

From:

fondofapples

"You know, I almost said it, Dahgo." Regina pressed her palm against his chest to hold him against her. "To trust me not to use it against you. I'm not asking you to give up your own judgement, just to let me say, 'no, this is not okay' and have you accept that with me."

She stepped back then to gesture up and down with one hand, calling conjuring mist in to cloak her. When it faded out, she wore sandals, a black swimsuit with a plunging back and sheer swoosh beneath her breasts and across to her hip, and covered with a pretty gold and red sarong that knotted at her hip.

"I believe that you can take the pain, but you're my knight, not his assassin, here. And I wouldn't be worth your affections if I let you suffer."

From:

hellorhighwater

Neil watched her change with magic, smiling a little as the smoke cleared to reveal--okay, he'd forgotten about bathing suits. Making a mental note to ask Regina how she felt about bikinis, he got to his feet and turned to face her, absently running a hand back over his head and down the neat braid she'd done. Snug, tidy, but not so tight that it would cause a headache.

"For the record? You're worth more on your worst day than the Sun Goddess on her best." he assured her, wrapping his good arm around her waist to pull her in for a kiss.

...okay, just once he was gonna show off.

Breaking the kiss, Neil took a small step back, calling a large ball of dragon fire to life in the palm of his good hand. Using the pain in his arm as a focus, he drew the heat back into himself, transforming the sparking red-white flame as the leaping fire dwindled and faded. In its place was a glowing ball of iridescent white, one that contracted and glazed when he curled his fingers--an orb of raw magic, nestled into his palm.

Concentrating, Neil shut his eyes and crushed the shimmering orb in his fingers. It wasn't Regina's conjuring mist, but there was a sudden explosion of smoke on an invisible breeze, cloaking Neil and blowing back away from his body. It dissipated quickly, leaving him standing there breathing like he'd run a sprint...wearing black trunks, no shirt, and for Regina's peace of mind had also conjured a sling to support his bad arm, strapping it neatly to his chest.

"For the record," he panted, gesturing with his good arm and grinning with unabashed pride, "I can only do that when I'm in pain. Gives me a focus...see? You're not...the only one that can...flirt with magic."

From:

fondofapples

One of her favorite things about being with him was this, how he would haul her close to kiss her As punctuation on a thought, or as part of a smile. It made ludicrous statements like her being worth more than the Sun Goddess slightly less bald-faced flattery and slightly more love-addled sweetness.

It also had the effect of settling her enough that him engaging his dragon fire (that could make him sick!) When he was already in pain didn't turn her into a shrieking harpy. As she always did when he worked new magic, she paid close attention to see what she could learn of it. What she learned this time was that this magic was more beautiful than it was efficient, and it took far more out of him than she was happy with. But she wasn't going to complain about the results. Not when the view was so damn good.

"I was acquiescing to your request that I get warm and wet too. I don't have a swimsuit yet." She turned and headed for the door, expecting him to follow. "And flirting. But if you don't stop pushing yourself to prove you're okay, my flirting is all you'll be enjoying tonight."

From:

hellorhighwater

"Well, I don't have one either." He pointed out with a breathless laugh as he followed her. "And what if someone else is in there? I'm not sloggin' around in wet gym shorts, and I'm not peeling down naked. This here's a one woman show, angel."

Catching up to walk alongside her, Neil bent to kiss the top of her head as they walked.

"And the will of the gods upon my tongue: I wasn't pushing. Just showin' off for the hottie." He swore in reassurance. "I can separate dragon fire into its components--fire and magic. But the magic is raw, I can't control it with spellcraft. Making it do anything is brute force...I don't just keep in shape for combat, that shit is pure cardio at work. It even helped a little! The look on your face made me forget my arm hurt for a minute."

From:

fondofapples

"I wasn't pushing, says the man who is out of breath from changing clothes," Regina scoffed, rolling her eyes, but there was a gentleness to it that belied the hint of temper in her words.

She did know the difference between cardiovascular exertion and cardiovascular stress, but pain weakened the system and she worried for him, especially in the wake of his confession that his powers could make him sick. Which was why she kept her stride leisurely and reached for his hand: to encourage him to take it slow, relax, absorb the comfort of being sheltered and safe with her.

As they walked, she wove and rewove their fingers, stroking sometimes his palm, sometimes the webbing between thumb and forefinger, sometimes the side of his hand with her thumb. She wanted him quiet, so he would sleep, so she pitched her voice just for him and said, "You don't need to show off for me. I already couldn't be more attracted to you."

From:

hellorhighwater

It still felt strange, an ill fit, but walking with Regina's hand in his, holding on and touching and rubbing soothing little circles or gently caressing the lines of his fingers was doing its job. A feeling of stillness and calm settled into him, a place in his core that he'd come to associate with Regina. It was a place filled with the white noise he embraced to let himself kill, but it wasn't filled with the voice of darkness swallowing his light: it was breath, the whisper of skin shifting in the dark, soft words and hungry sighs. It was warm, seductive, and somehow still serene.

It drew him into returning every little touch, their fingers dancing as his thumb trailed across the back of his hand while she caressed his palm, fingers mapping her knuckles when she'd remesh their hands or stroke the skin between his fingers. His thoughts got lost in the sweet tangle so he almost missed what she said--almost, but not quite.

"I know I don't need to." he assured her, bringing their joined hands to his lips so he could kiss the back of her hand as he flashed her a smile. "But I like to. I like the way you look at me when I do something you think is cool." He paused, his smile growing as he leaned in a little to gently bump her shoulder with his arm. "Even if you wanna smack me for it at the same time. It's like...I dunno. Like you're seeing me for the first time again. First time from my perspective, anyway--when you caught me on the network."

From:

fondofapples

"Like I'm surprised and not sure whether to be annoyed or pleased?" she teased him and tugged their joined hands over to her mouth for a kiss in return for his.

"Too bad you don't have the memory of the actual first time I saw you." Her voice dipped, growing smoky and suggestive. "But you didn't get that in the other world either. I caught the line of your back while you were saying god only knows what and needed a minute before I could answer you." Another tease, but not untruthful; she'd found him attractive since the first moment, but she liked this version of him much better.

From:

hellorhighwater

What little he knew of the version of himself she'd met before, Neil wasn't sure he much liked himself, but he had to be grateful to the idiot for being in the right place at the right time: if not for him, Regina might never have asked him out for drinks that first time.

"Well, at least I have the memory of the first time I saw you. In person." he pointed out, grinning as he pulled her closer, then released her hand so he could drape his arm around her shoulders instead, letting him kiss her temple or just press his face against the top of her head if he wanted to while they walked. "When you damn near teleported on top of me. I think the first thing that popped into my head was 'hot damn.'"

From:

fondofapples

His 'hot damn' brought a sweet, almost shy, feminine smile to her lips although her body stiffened slightly as she turned in the circle of his arm to look up at him. She shook her head very slightly and raised a hand to his jaw; her thumb stroked along the bone but seemed to linger along with her gaze.

"Why?" she asked when she could resist it no longer. Vanity was one of her besetting sins, but it wasn't that prompting her to ask. It was, instead, the awareness of who she was and how many terrible things she'd done. He knew enough of it to at least exercise self-preservation, and yet every time she reached for him, he slid even closer than she'd invited him. After everything they'd already been through tonight alone, it was both a stupid question and an answer she needed like breathing. "What do you see when you look at me?"

From:

hellorhighwater

Neil huffed with silent laughter at the question, but as he looked into her face he saw something there that sobered him.

Stopping in his tracks, he turned to face her with a puzzled expression, even while he leaned his head into her touch.

"...you really don't know, do you?" he murmured, his good hand lifting to caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "You don't get--"

He stopped, rolled his lips together in thought, trying to find the words to explain the light and shadow he saw, the strength, the fire that not even her blackest sins could obscure...the pure heart buried under miles of scar tissue.

"I see Nocturne when I look at you." he finally replied. "An endless, indomitable night--but inevitably broken by the violent colors and glimpses of the sun in your twilight smile. I see a thousand times a thousand points of light and starshine in your darkness, and the fire you burn to keep that dark at bay and fill the world with life despite the shadow." He paused, another huff of laughter, this time awestruck rising from his chest.

"I see the hope she gave a skinny orphan by opening her arms and accepting him into her world. I see the magic she revealed to him when she laid hands on his stained heart and saw something worthy of her--not because he was noble or even good, but because her darkness matched his...and she wasn't afraid."

He smiled after a moment, nodding more to himself than for her benefit, feeling a strange sense of pleasure and accomplishment for finding the words.

"I see Nocturne when I look at you, Regina. I see home."

From:

fondofapples

Just this once, she forced herself to resist the exquisite tenderness of a lover's fingers against the curve of her cheek. She didn't close her eyes or tilt her head or seek to savor that touch -- although she wanted to. She very much wanted to fall into that caress, let the sweetness of it wrap around her, and to never come out.

But she needed to know, needed the words, and instead of softening, falling that much harder, that much more in love with his touch, her gaze scanned his face avidly, and the lines of her body were tense with naked need.

What do you see in me?
...a second chance.

Neil wasn't her second chance or her third. She'd stepped outside her storyline into another. He wasn't Robin and she wasn't his second chance. So what was she to him? What did he see? Why her?

She didn't know what to expect, but she was prepared for him to tell her that it was magic and chemistry, that she was beautiful, that he trusted her, any number of answers that might have been acceptable alone or in combination. Whatever she thought she was prepared for, it wasn't this... this outpouring of spirit and poetry, a warrior's heart. She had nowhere to put that much emotion that would make it safe, or even comprehensible.

She knew how to be a lover and to mother a man's child. As much as it made her sick to think it, her mother and Leopold had groomed her for that job. But how did you 'be' someone's home? How did she 'act' as his inspiration? How did she mirror that and give it back to him? I see home was terrifying, and beautiful, like a blanket of stars, and she didn't know whether to wrap herself in it or run from it.

Her chest had seized so tightly, she definitely had no idea what to say to it. Her hands shook, fingers trembling nervelessly when she set both hands (gently, carefully) on his chest. Every nerve that didn't work in her arms and hands sparked and fired in her lower back, until she thought her knees might give out from under her. She wet lips gone dry with nerves and uncertainty but found she had no words except, "Neil, I..."

From:

hellorhighwater

Before she could finish the statement, Neil's hand lifted to gently cover her mouth without strength--lay there, not to stifle her but simply to call for silence.

"Perfect conquest through perfect submission." he replied quietly, almost a whisper. "Not magic and salvation--dahgo is a choice, not a destiny--a trial, not a test. What I give to you, I give without promise of redemption, without expectation...without hope."

Letting his hand drop from her mouth, he covered one of the hands on his chest and slid it up so he could grip her fingers with the hand that protruded from his sling.

"I'm not waiting to hear it, Regina. I don't need to, I don't want to. Say it when you're ready, when I try to shut you up and you say it anyway. Don't say it out of obligation, say it it out of spite. When you say it...don't say it because I love you. Say it because you love me."

From:

fondofapples

Before Neil could drop his fingers away from her mouth, she bit them. Hard. And then she waited for him to finish talking to say, "Don't ever tell me what to say and what not to say," she snapped, raw emotion and physicality-invoked memories of her mother a bad combination.

Her hands trembled, both from her frustration at her own reaction and from his finally saying words she hadn't realized she'd been waiting for. She knew he loved her. Knew she loved him, too. But hearing it...

She shook her head and gave him a softer look, apologetic, while her free hand stroked his chest over his heart. "I wasn't going to say it, Neil. I was going to say that I didn't know what to say, but I didn't have the words for that, either."

It was too much, this conversation in the halls that led to the rock springs. They weren't alone. They were exposed. And she felt impossibly vulnerable. By now he knew her well enough that even if he couldn't read the gesture magic, he had to expect the teleportation mist and the temporary disorientation and relocation that left them in a private, quiet area of the springs.

From:

hellorhighwater

The bite made him hiss, but all he did was curl his fingers in loosely to soothe the sting. He'd obviously hit a button of some kind--one he made a mental note not to push again.

And he felt kind of stupid for making assumptions...but she was still here. Not freaking out, not running away. He wasn't sure what to expect, but when he caught the channeling gesture she used to teleport, he didn't hesitate to slide his arm around her--to make it easier, and out of a small sense of relief. Obviously, if she wanted to be alone with him, she wasn't going anywhere, right?

When the mist of her spell cleared and he saw where they were, he relaxed a little and leaned forward to press his nose against her hairline, just to breathe her in.

"Sorry I pushed a button--and I'm sorry I made assumptions." he sighed, drawing back with a smile. "I just...I guess I jumped to conclusions 'cause I already know it's true. So..."

He trailed off, looking into her eyes with hope, despite what he said before.

"Did I push too hard? Am I gettin' in that water alone? Or...are we good, and you'll keep tryin' to take care of me while I try to seduce you?"

From:

fondofapples

Because she'd told him not to, she didn't reach up to stop his mouth. Let him say the things he needed to say, because sometimes hurt and fear needed out, not just soothed. She knew that better than almost anyone.

When he'd finished, that was when she took her hand to his jaw and murmured, "Apology for button-pushing accepted. Not for assuming something that's always in my eyes and in my touch." And riding her tongue more often than not. She loved him, but for a little while longer, she needed to remember those words being for Robin. She needed not to say them until she wasn't afraid it would mean him being ripped away from her.

"We're good, Neil. I just didn't want a possible audience anymore. I wanted to be alone with you."

From:

hellorhighwater

"Okay." he replied softly, leaning into the touch of her hand on his jaw. That, he needed more than anything, the reassurances he'd come to look for that had precisely those words hidden in their depths: every kiss, every sweep of her fingers or caress of her knuckles, every moment when she looked at him with that wide-eyed light in her gaze.

Shutting his eyes, he reached up to catch her hand, to press his lips against the center of her palm, centering himself at the same time. He gave himself a moment to stop looking, to let go of even the fear of pushing too far too soon. That wasn't the point--the point was to trust it, to accept it...to anticipate nothing, even inevitable rejection or suffering. A clean cut, a surgical separation, a removal of the heart.

It was a hard thing to do...but easier, knowing her hands were outstretched and waiting to take that heart from him.

It was just a couple of seconds before he lifted his head, released her hand--then scowled down at his sling, shifting to try and slide it off so he could slide into the water. Regina's charm had faded enough that he was definitely feeling it again.

"Fucking stupid--aren't these things supposed to ease pain? Ember's Balls..."

From:

fondofapples

When he closed his eyes, she used those seconds to pull herself back together, regather her poise as much as she could, but she found with his lips pressed to her palm and his breathing slowing as he found dahgo that it wasn't much at all. Every time he needed her, it stripped another layer of her defenses and her resistance, the polish that covered her sheer terror that if she admitted out loud she loved him, it would be like Robin and Marian and her all over again only it would be Robin she couldn't save and Neil she had to leave. That, or he would simply be gone in the night and she would be alone again.

But his impotent anger at the sling, that gave her back a bit of herself. She rapped her knuckles lightly on his forehead. He was in pain again, so there was no smile to accompany it, just a gently chiding, "Quit struggling like a rabbit in a snare and relax a minute," and then she walked around behind him to untie the knot that held the sling in place.

From:

hellorhighwater

Neil opened his mouth to insist he could get it on his own--but shut his mouth after a moment, remembering his promise to let her help, even leaned back a little so she didn't have to stretch.

Once she got it loose, Neil eased the sling off and tossed it off to one side--then impatiently called a tongue of dragon fire to life from his fingertip and flicked it onto the sling, which burned like flash paper, leaving no ash behind.

"That was incredibly satisfying." he declared aloud, arm cradled protectively against his stomach with a sigh as he looked over his shoulder at Regina with a smile. "You were right about comin' down here--feel better already."